Discovery can bring on so many revelations and awareness of many things. It's my favorite part of coaching. Asking the right questions in the right sequence creates a guided and supported inner reflection. It can be profound, sometimes tearful, and in some cases overwhelming. It's liberating and also frustrating when you realize some of your struggles are self inflicted.
One of the topics we get into during activation is direction. Activation explores:
Understanding your own talents, strengths and gifts
Respecting our flaws and weaknesses
Identifying where we are the most passionate and fulfilled
Honing our purpose and mission
All that awareness brings renewed confidence, commitment, motivation and direction. I joke with clients that your Activation Point is like the Home Screen on your computer. You could have different windows open, everything could be chaos, but your Activation Point is "home"- clearly defined and your point of reset. Recently I discussed direction with a group of entrepreneurs, and for the most part everyone knew where they wanted to go. It might not have been clearly defined, but they were close. They asked me for one tip for staying aligned with their paths. There were so many things I could share, but the most important is to "decide what you want, what the dream is, and then say NO to anything that doesn't align with that direction."
We get caught up saying yes a lot. Even if we know it's going to completely sideline what we have going on. We want to be valued, feel needed, and we want to go with the flow. Success is very rarely aligned with the majority. I struggled with this BIG TIME as a young adult. I said YES to too much and sank myself. If a friend asked me to help with their business plan- you got it dude! If someone needed me to watch their children- sure thing! When a customer asked for me to change something that wasn't agreed upon- only this time. I said yes to everything and everyone except me.
Here's what I learned about having the awareness that NO is ok!
Saying "no" is/does NOT:
make you a bad person
mean you aren't helpful
decrease your value
mean you are letting others down
Saying "no" IS:
committing to your direction
more energy for the things that fulfill you
more time to say YES to others that need it
not stressing over things that don't align with your path
empowering others to use their skills and strengths